I'm sorry for being critical less than 30 pages in.

Dear Chuck Klosterman,

When you say things like, "The truth is that nothing changes literally: It's always the same people, doing the same things,"

I can really relate.

But,
on the next page set, you have Julia unwinding, after a troubling day facing her new reality, by listening to Foreigner's Jukebox Hero and you totally lose me. 

I mean, I'll keep reading, but a gal reading your book that was published in 2008 in 2011 about fictional events in 1983 isn't going to relate to Foreigner. 

I'm not saying you should name-drop some super underground band that no one in 1983 would have heard of, just, not Jukebox Hero.


Your ever-admiring fan,

Alicia Williams


P.S. I know that you're like, 'into' that kind of music, but these aren't your personal interviews/stories - I wanna relate to the characters and shit.

ughxinfinity

Dear People I Don't Like:


Please stop liking things I like, it ruins the fuck out of it for me

Not your pal,
Alicia Williams

P.S. if you're in a band it's probably not No Age, Wavves or Black Lips, so don't sound so identical!

P.P.S. I'm so over garage/surf right now, ughughugh ugh UGH!
 
Gross!
 

:'(

Dear Classmates/Pseudo Intellectuals

Not watching certain MTV shows doesn't mean you're smarter than anyone else, it just means you're uninformed on the current state of popular culture.

On the same note, my enjoyment and the utter delight that I experience whilst watching shows such as: Teen Mom, Jersey Shore, MTV Live etc. does not make me an idiot,
so long as I do not emulate those I see smiling back at me from the TV screen.

Saying things like: 
"I have never seen that show but...[quotes/summarize events in show]"
"Whenever I see a young mom on the street I am instantly reminded of the show Teen Mom...
but I've never seen that show before"
"I've never seen that show before...[later]...I've watched a few episodes with my friend who has a kid"

..makes you the idiot and no one else

I fail to see the point of reassuring your classmates, and yourself, that you do not watch these shows,
especially when you, obviously, went out of your way to sign up for an art class on Popular Culture.
Did you only expect to be looking at fucking Warhol stencils?

I mean seriously.


Your disgusted acquaintance,
Alicia Williams

sowee!

Dear Chevrolet Cavalier,

I know you have taken too much abuse since we've been together, and for that, I'm sorry.
You haven't had an oil change.  You get run to shit.
Your tires haven't been filled.
You always say "check engine," and I never do.
I kick you sometimes when I'm mad,
    or slam the door really hard.
You got too much junk in your trunk.
Your alignment is all fucked from when we biffed out in the snow.
And you're perpetually riding check gages
    in regards to both gas and coolant.

Anyways, I'm really sorry.
But could you do me a solid and retain the coolant I put in you!
I'm buying two jugs at a time!! 
I know it's cheap, but you know I'm broke!

Your deadbeat bud,
Alicia Williams

Dear Alex...

Dear Alex Ebert,

We all liked you better in Ima Robot.

Please stop latching onto every current music trend and create something worthwhile.


Your disappointed friend,
Alicia Williams